Evil Stick Blog

Kilties 2009 Open house has come and gone. I’m not exactly sure how to feel about it. On the one hand, my physical preparation definitely paid off in spades - I was able to control the horn better, had better endurance, and didn’t have nearly as much arm pain this year as I have in years past. So if nothing else, I’m definitely more physically fit than I have been before.

The other side, though, is two new experiences that I went through this weekend. First, I moved up to 1st bari to give it a shot. It’s a bit outside my range now, but I’m hoping that if I work my ass off over the next couple months I’ll be able to manage the show range-wise come January. As it went yesterday, I did OK for about the first 15 minutes, but then repeated Ds above high C wore me out quickly. I’m kind of facing the same problem I had on trumpet - no problems at all with technical stuff or with rhythms, but lots of trouble with endurance and range. Of course I’m told by several people that the opener for this year is a lot tougher on the baritones than it was last year, so I suppose that should be taken into account. In any case I’ll definitely be busting my ass to improve my range and tone quality before January Camp.

The second experience was my first weekend as a staff member. After last season, Scott wanted to make some changes in how we handle staff. Mainly he felt that he wasn’t getting enough commitment from the staff he had at the time, and furthermore that some of the membership was doing a better job teaching things that he could see than the staff he had. So he’s trying something new this year - pulling most of the staff from within the corps itself. Horn and visual techs, percussion techs, and guard staff are all marching members (with one or two exceptions due to physical limitations). There are still non-marching staff members - coordination and big-picture tower stuff necessitates the person teaching that caption not be in  the line - but most of the winter program is being conducted by members themselves. I was fortunate enough to be chosen as a visual tech for the brass line. This basically means that I get to teach the entire visual program, and lead basics and visual sectionals.

So anyway, this weekend was my first camp as visual staff, really my first camp as any kind of staff member. We had spent several weeks discussing the finer points of the visual program among ourselves (things like “The arms shall form a 120 degree triangle, the weight shall be 60% forward, etc), which I then got the opportunity to present to the corps during basics blocks this weekend. The main problem we’ve had as a corps is that so far we’ve had a different visual program every year that I’ve marched. Unfortunately, that includes this year. As we had our staff meetings in October and November, we came to a consensus that there were some things in last year’s visual program that just weren’t working as well as they could. So we made a series of small changes that ended up amounting to some major-ish changes in how the hornline presents itself. The core philosophy presented last year by the visual staff is still essentially the same - movement initiates from the center of the body, emphasis is on moving the center about as opposed to reaching for positions - but some of the particulars are changed. In particular, what we’re emphasizing is almost an alternative way to think of marching in that instead of stepping with the left foot, we’re pushing off with the other foot. Some stuff we are changing - for example, we’re pulling the corps down off the platform some on the backwards march. This is to make the program more accessible, and to improve balance and maneuvering among those who may be having trouble in the first place. But the main concept of the movement is the same - the center of the body has always been the focus of the movement - it just may never have been adequately stated to the corps.

But I’ve digressed a bit, I think. As I mentioned, this was the first weekend, which means that I was essentially responsible for teaching the corps the new visual program. This also means that, from a certain perspective, the staff’s changes are MY changes. The new program is MY new program. Some of the stuff we’re doing with the upper body is quite different from what the corps has done in the past (but not that different from how most DCI corps do things today), and it showed as I tried to teach it. It was almost as if I could feel a “WTF is this?!” gravitating off everyone in the line.

It’s kind of weird, because from one perspective I know that I’m perpetuating a problem that the corps has had in the past - a visual program that changes from year to year - but from another perspective I’m really just doing what I can to push the program that pretty much the entire staff agreed upon. Yeah, it sucks to have to change every year, and for this to be just another year in the sequence, but we’ve got to be honest with ourselves - every visual person has a different idea of what’s “modern,” of what “looks good,” of what is “old school” much as most brass staff have differing ideas of a hornline’s characteristic sound. By virtue of having changed visual staff every year I was there (Chad Quamme in 2007, Andy Brady in 2008, Myself, Terry and Scooter in 2009) you’re going to see changes in the program. The trick then becomes one of staff retention. If the staff doesn’t change from year to year, the visual program won’t change from year to year either. It really isn’t change for change’s sake in that case, it’s more along the lines of “Look, you hired me to teach to the best of my ability, and this is what I know how to teach.” The best case for a group like the Kilties is to have a consistent staff year in and year out. If the staff doesn’t change, then the main program itself doesn’t change. My view is that staff retention leads to program stability, and I think that a lot of people can agree with that.

In any case, as a staff member this year, I feel two impulses. One, I have to overcome the frustration/reticence/irritation at yet another visual program change as I teach, and two, we as a staff need to settle on something that will change as little as possible. As a person who is new to teaching anything, I feel a little bit out of my depth taking this on. I know that what I’m presenting is well thought-out and well-reasoned (even if some people disagree with it), but because I’m inexperienced I have no way of knowing if I’m doing an effective job of getting this across. One of my biggest concerns is that the hornline comes away from visual sections thinging that I’m throwing this stuff at them completely at random. I think most of this is in my head, though. All I can really do is offer open communication on any issues the members have, and be confident in my own abilities in the end. Some people won’t like the things I’m presenting, and if I can change their mind that’s great. Some people don’t think the staff model is the right way to go, and they’re entitled to their opinion. I can only hope people keep an open mind and discuss their concerns before using them as a reason for leaving the organization.

My work is cut out for me. From what I’ve been told, we’re doing a lot more communication as a staff this year than has been done in years past. Being new to this I don’t have any basis for comparison, so all I can do is make sure I know everything I can ahead of time. Time to buckle down.

So I tried yesterday to lay low so that I wasn’t shot or damaged for rehearsal. I failed miserably - rehearsal was total shit. Complete and total shit. I can only assume that taking a day off to let the chops recover doesn’t do a damn thing, like I had hoped that it would. I don’t have the time this morning, so I’ll be playing this evening (which is what I’ve done the past few days anyway). I also lost about 8 days worth of data because a program caused my PC to freeze - luckily i have the “online archives”.

But that whole thing is kind of secondary right now. I’ve had what I hope will be a fortuitous event take place which, provided that everything goes well, could start the next chapter of my life off rather nicely. Mindi and I have been talking about moving lately (me more than her, I think), and as a preparatory measure I updated my resume on a gaming job website (gamasutra.com, for those interested). I didn’t apply to any jobs, I simply updated my resume. The very next day I got an email from a game company recruiter who asked me if I was interested in anything in California. I gave him a call the next day, and actually did a phone interview on the spot. He sent me a programming challenge to complete and, provided that I do that well, I’ll hopefully be called in for another interview.

For those who aren’t trying to break into the game industry (or haven’t already broken in, my position as such is debatable), this kind of thing is pretty unheard of. All you ever hear about is how people will put out resume after resume after resume, and not hear a response. Some people apply to positions for a solid year before they even get an interview. I apparently got one just by updating my resume. So to use the words of some younger generation, I’m pretty stoked about all of this. I can go into this thing with a bit of swagger and confidence because, after all, they contacted me. I’ve just got to rock the world on this programming challenge and, hopefully, that will hold their interest enough that they call me out there for an in-person interview.

Which brings me to the only downside of the whole thing. The job’s in Camarillo, CA, which is about 51 miles north and west of Los Angeles. Seeing as how CA is the center of the games industry, this was to be expected (if a company was going to contact me outta the blue, it’d most likely be from CA), but it is still a major life change. The questions in my mind right now are if I get the position, will Mindi and I be able to handle the change in environments? How about the distance from family and friends? The cost of living is also higher in CA, which might mean this would be another in the series of temporary places (unless the real estate market really tanks, as I’m hoping it will). I’m sure that all of these are surmountable obstacles, and it’s probably premature to take them into consideration. Plus, I’m most concerned about how it will affect Mindi. She loves me and has said she would go wherever, but I’d still feel like a large bit of asshole if I didn’t give her at least a little bit of a say.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. Tonight, I complete the programming challenge and then continue work on my project. I swear that all I’ve been seeing lately when I close my eyes is code, between 8 hours a day at work and 4-5 hours a day at home/class. At least it’s decent training for crunch time in the industry…

High note: C#
Bari high note: being phased out, I think.
G time: 4 minutes, 43 seconds
Playing time yesterday: 15 minutes on trumpet

After reading up on the benefits of lip slurs, and after listening to suggestions from people in the Kilties hornline, I’ve changed the lip-slurs I’m using. I am switching from my current low C-G stuff to the first four exercises from “Forty-One studies for developing lip flexibility and endurance on the Cornet” by Walter M smith, which have been provided to me by one of the aforementioned kilties. Having already played through them once, they’re a bit more intense than the ones I’ve been using, and should provide more of a workout.

I’m not really phasing out the baritone, but I just haven’t touched it in a few days. My poor performance at last week’s BGSB rehearsal has been foremost on my mind and, to be honest, I need the work on Trumpet more than i do on Bari. Outside of memorization of tunes, I don’t have much impetus to whip out the bari either. I’ll have to work on changing that.

High note: D (at pianissimo)
Bari high note: not today
G time: 4 minutes, 41 seconds
Playing time yesterday: 0

Partly due to reticence, and partly due to muscle fatigue, I decided to take a weekend away from the horn. After last Thursday I was feeling pretty down, and figured that the whole thing sucked because I had been pushing too hard. Well this time I’m going to do my best to take it easier, and spend more time playing outside of the simple 15 minutes I have been doing each morning. On top of that, I was probably too hard on myself last thursday. After all, I was still able to play an A above the staff at the end of rehearsal, which was a first (usually I feel like crap after rehearsal and can barely play a 3rd-space C). I just need to work on my endurance is all, and to be fair it is better than it was when I started this whole thing (at least, I think it is). So, onward and upward! Or, at least, onward and level.

High note: B
Bari high note: resting
G time: 2 minutes 23 seconds
Playing time yesterday: 1 hour on trumpet (rehearsal estimation), 15 minutes combined.

Yesterday was extremely discouraging. The morning playing went like crap, and rehearsal was pretty much a wash. My endurance wasn’t seriously tested until the last half-hour, and it failed the test. Got through the end of Sorcerer’s Apprentice (the ending of which is eerily similar to the long-tones exercise), through The Wrong Note Rag, and about 20 measures into Mannin Veen before my lips decided to stop playing the horn and start being dirty whining bastards. “Oh, a note! We couldn’t possibly play another one of those!” they’d say, in the manner of a blueblood refusing an after-dinner tart. So I got discouraged, and I got frustrated, and at the center of it all lies what appears to be self-evident: I will never be a decent trumpet player. Never. All i am doing with my exercises and practicing is struggling against the inevitable - The concert will be the ultimate evidence of this. The fuck up I had during the Horn Concerto last year will be nothing compared to the debacle that will be The Sorcerer’s Apprentice.

Do I seriously believe that? No, I don’t. I can confidently state that I am not the best trumpet player in the BGSB. Hell, I doubt I’m even in the top 5. I can confidently say that I’m playing lead parts only because Bob needed someone who was dependable and had demonstrated the appropriate range and musical ability in the past, and not because I have demonstrated the endurance to last an entire concert (Les Preludes presented the antithesis of this last year). I can confidently say that the first half of the concert should be at least passingly decent, but once that intermission hits I’ll have damn near nothing left. And this is the problem I am facing.

Eventually I’m going to have to face up to the fact that, without significantly more playing done on my part outside of rehearsal, I will probably never improve. My little 15-minute jaunts each morning may make me feel better about myself, but they are not enough to get decent range, endurance, and quality of tone. True, they are better than nothing, but so is picking up the horn and blowing a single quarter note on a low C each morning. Of course, I have no formal training in trumpet performance or education with which to back this up, which means that I still keep doggedly at it in the hopes that maybe I’m wrong, maybe the simple daily dedication can help, maybe I’ll rock the entire concert and play 5 encores all above the staff all because of my morning regimen.

The truth, I suspect, will lie somewhere in the middle. In the meantime I’ll just swallow my discouragement and keep plugging away, hoping that between spending time with Mindi, working on my classwork, memorizing stuff for the Kilties, and dealing with the horrors of Chicago traffic, I’ll be able to find an hour here or there to actually practice my music and maybe, just maybe, give my ego the boost that it’s going to need to carry this farce to a conclusion.

High note: D
Bari high note: Resting
G time: 1 minute, 50 seconds
Playing time yesterday: 15 minutes combined

Laying off the bari today, as the chops don’t feel as strong as they should. Also don’t want to overdo it for rehearsal tonight.

High note: C
Bari High note: A
G time: 4 minutes, 19 seconds
PLaying time yesterday: 15 minutes combined

—– Insert inspired rant about the futility of commercialized holidays here —–

Just kidding - a more potent rant is forthcoming, but demands more time to craft than I currently have available.

HIgh note: Eb
Bari high note: G
G time: 3 minutes, 51 seconds
Playing time yesterday;: 15 minutes on trumpet

DIdn’t really frack the E, it just fizzled (like the end of the long G exercise). I think that’s a positive sign, as I hadn’t applied any pressure at all throughout the exercise. Also hit the high water mark on the “long g” exercise thus far. I’ve actually seen steady improvement on that. I have yet to have a chance to identify what effect it has on my playing, though. Also although I fracked the G on the baritone, it was more due to complacency on my part than any form of lip fatigue. That and the switching between keys (G and Bb) really fucks with my note targetting. Hopefully I’ll get over that in time.

High note: Middle C
Bari high note: resting
G time: 1 minute, 38 seconds
Playing time yesterday: 2.5 hours on baritone

I missed yesterday, and I forgot to finish out the baritone series on Saturday. However, I’ve been trying to rethink my strategy a bit. With the additions in phase two, and judging by how I feel when I’m actually playing the exercises, there seems to be an increased potential for injury if I’m doing these things incorrectly. Take a look at today’s results - those are low because I forced myself to not push the envelope today. My chops are damn near dead after this past weekend’s camp, and the above represents the most I was able to pull out without slipping into bad habits. Had I applied pressure, I could probably have gained another couple of notes in long tones, and maybe another minute on the G exercise, but that would be counter-productive.

During what free time I’ve had, I’ve been looking for any information I can find on improving trumpet endurance. The exercises recommended vary wildly from person to person - some recommend long tones, others recommend lip slurs, and so forth. But there is one unilateral recommendation put forth - rest as much as you play, and if it hurts, stop! The trick is to approach this as a bodybuilding exercise, as opposed to a trumpet exercise. Or so I’m told, I have yet to make significant progress.

So here’s the thing - I’m going to need to set limits for myself. To date I’ve been forging blindly on, regardless of the condition of my lips, and completely ignoring sudden aberrations in my playing habits (like spending two hours playing at rehearsal instead of the morning’s 15 minutes). I’ll need to adjust that. Basically, I need to start taking it easy on days after I’d played, or if my chops feel like crap. I need to stop pushing when the muscles start burning, as that’s my body trying to tell me that I’m pushing too hard. I need to be willing to take a break from one instrument or another depending on the situation. As such, given the 7 hours of playing I’ve done on baritone over the past two days, I won’t push the long tone exercise on that today. Given the way my corners feel I probably shouldn’t even have done the trumpet, but I was feeling confident that I could do so today without causing serious damage.

That’s the only problem with this approach - it’s going to rely alot on feel. Basically, if I wake up and feel like crap (chops-wise), I’ll say “today’s not a good idea” . The only problem I foresee here is that things can quickly devolve into me trying to find excuses not to play (my brain is devious like that). Hopefully, by consciously paying attention to the muscles, and by resting for appropriate amounts between exertions, I’ll be able to increase my rate of improvement, because if there has been any to date, I haven’t noticed it.

High note: C#
Bari high note: Not yet completed (will do so at camp)
G time: 3 minutes, 19 seconds
Playing time yesterday: 15 minutes combined

I noticed that I’m slowly starting to play with more pressure to squeak out the high notes on the trumpet. I’m going to make more of a conscious effort of reducing the pressure I play with, and I’ll assist this by reducing the volume at which I play the exercise. That way I’ll have no choice but to build the muscle.

Baritone results will be obtained at camp - since I need to run all over northeastern illinois this morning, I figured it was best to hold off since time is running short.